9 Tips for Including an Aging Senior In Your Holiday Celebrations

Holiday celebrations are full of hustle and bustle, favorite traditions, and delicious foods. And, of course, you want your aging family members to be a part of your holiday meals, events, and other traditions, and they want to be there as well. 

There are plenty of ways to adapt your events and approach to include aging parents. You just need a few tips from experts who have been there. We’ve got you covered with inspiration to make you confident enough to safely bring a senior from their home to your next holiday gathering.

1. Narrow down the invitations to holiday celebrations.

Attending every family event or celebration isn’t necessarily realistic. Instead of your parent trying to make an appearance at every event, work together to determine how full they want their calendar to be and which events they don’t want to miss. Then, fill in their calendar with the events they chose. Consider building the anticipation by reminding them to mark off the days on the calendar each time you speak with them. 

2. Continue to follow a schedule and routine.

It’s likely not possible to continue to follow every routine during the holiday season, but maintaining a sense of structure can be beneficial for older adults, especially those who are living with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia.

Routines can help reduce feelings of anxiety and stress while enhancing feelings of safety. When you’re inviting family to a holiday celebration, also make sure to include the schedule so they know what to expect. And remember to continue to follow medication schedules throughout the busy celebration. It can be easy to lose track of time, so set alarms on your phone for medication reminders.

3. Plan for safe mobility.

Be aware of any fall risks in your home or where the celebration is being held. Fortunately, you can help keep your aging parent safe by planning ahead.

Make sure they have any mobility devices with them when you pick them up, such as a cane, rolling walker, or wheelchair. You might find it helpful to plan your entrance and exit at the celebration site before the event as well. Know the easiest and safest way to get them into the event space as well as to and from the restroom. Remember, if your parent uses a wheelchair, always check that the brakes are locked before any transfers.

4. Check the menu.

Food is an integral part of any family holiday celebration, and you want your family member to enjoy their favorites. Before the event, check with the host to ensure the menu has food that your family member enjoys and can safely eat.

If your parent needs a particular menu accommodation, bring a specially prepared dish along with you so they can still enjoy eating with their family. You also might consider bringing a few empty individual portion containers so they can take leftovers back home and enjoy them over the next few days.

5. Arrive early and leave early.

Big family gatherings are certainly fun, but they can also be quite loud and overstimulating. This is especially true if your parent has Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia.

Reduce the risk of anxiety or feelings of being overwhelmed by planning to arrive early to the gathering. Be sure to tell the host, of course, and arrive about 15 minutes early. This way, the excitement and volume of the gathering build slowly, which can make it easier to navigate.

Watch for signs of increasing anxiety or overstimulation, and plan on leaving before your parent is in distress. Signs may include hand-wringing, increased confusion or agitation, wandering, or complaints of a headache. If these crop up, say goodbye and leave together. Unwind in the car with silence or a playlist of soft music.

6. Find ways for them to help.

If your parent was once the host or hostess of family gatherings, they might find it challenging to be a guest now. To help alleviate these challenges, find ways for them to help with the holiday festivities. 

Look for tasks that match their fine motor and cognitive skills. For example, ask if they could help out by setting the table, folding the napkins, or finishing up the mashed potatoes. Of course, if your parent prefers to take a pass on the tasks, honor that as well. They deserve to sit back and simply enjoy the day.

7. Involve the kids.

If your parent was once the host or hostess of family gatherings, they might find it challenging to be a guest now. To help alleviate these challenges, find ways for them to help with the holiday festivities. 

Look for tasks that match their fine motor and cognitive skills. For example, ask if they could help out by setting the table, folding the napkins, or finishing up the mashed potatoes. Of course, if your parent prefers to take a pass on the tasks, honor that as well. They deserve to sit back and simply enjoy the day.

8. Make it virtual.

If a gathering is too far away or just doesn’t match the needs of your parent, a virtual visit can be the perfect solution. It’s helpful if you plan a specific time for them to join the party virtually. This way, it doesn’t seem as chaotic, and you can pass the phone around so they can send holiday greetings without inadvertently missing anyone.

9. Do what you can in advance.

Whether it’s meal preparation or transportation, do what you can in advance and don’t be afraid to ask for help. We understand the desire to have a celebration like what you see in the movies, but that’s rarely realistic. Remember that the real reason for the season is spending time with your family, so lighten up your task load and enlist the help of others where you can so you can maximize the amount of special holiday time spent with those you care about.

Access support for family caregivers during holiday celebrations.

Being a caregiver for your aging parents is an important responsibility and can also bring about some challenges, especially during the holiday season when there’s a lot to plan for. Make sure you’re getting the support you need as well by exploring our suite of family caregiver resources.

This post was originally published in October 2023 and updated in December 2024.